Unafraid
by Nordalistica
Summary: Peeta's name is the one called for third quarter quell allowing Haymitch to step in and volunteer. Katniss and Haymitch are the tributes and Peeta the mentor, how would this have affected the course of events?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Characters and setting belong to Susan Collins, not me.**

**A/N: First fanfic ever, so please be nice and review with tips and so forth. I just wanted to explore the how things would be different if it had not been Katniss and Peeta in the arena the second time through and I hope I do an okay job of imagining it. Thank you.**

I watch Effie fish around the girls' name bowl, trying to catch hold of the one slip of paper, tiny, folded, and bearing my name that flutters around in the bottom of the glass. She unfolds and reads it almost unbearably slow. That I was going to be called was obvious, I'm the only possible female victor in district 12, but for the two stiff men in the roped off area opposite mine there is still a question.

My palms are sweating as I climb onto the stage and stare out at the solemn faces of district 12 and I will Effie to move faster as she begins reaching into the boys' bowl. She snatches up one of the little bits of paper and walks slowly, so slowly to the microphone and reads, "Peeta Mellark."

Almost before the words have left Effie's gold painted lips Haymitch has stepped forward. "I volunteer," he says in a flat, toneless voice that sounds wrong coming from him.

I feel dizzy and weak with relief. It will not be Peeta and I in the games again. Peeta will live no matter what happens in the arena and I won't have to work to keep him alive. I glance down at him as Haymitch makes his way to the stage and have to quickly look away again. His shoulders are slumbers and he follows the other man's path to the stage with panic stricken eyes and he grasps the velvet ropes of his pen. He can't do anything to change what just happened.

Haymitch and I are then ushered from the stage and into the peace building where we are hurried out the back door and into a car that takes off toward the train station, all in what seems like the blink of an eye. I register as we drive that this means that the rules have changed and I will not get to say my one last goodbye to Gale, my mother, or Prim and my chest begins to ache.

I don't have time to mourn long however as we pull up to the station and are shoved aboard the train by a handful of peace keepers. Haymitch and I have just enough time to look at each other and share each other's anxiety for a moment before Effie and Peeta are shoved in after us.

Peeta's face has change during the car ride. The alarm has left his eyes, probably because he is resigned to this turn of events, but now his face has hardened into one of intense, molten anger. He affixes his searing eyes tightly on Haymitch.

"Bastard!" he yells and knocks into Haymitch with all of his might and they both tumble to the floor. Effie shrieks and I am too stunned too react. Peeta pulls Haymitch up slightly by two fistfuls of the man's jacket and barks into his face, "You promised me! You told me it would be me! You goddamn liar, it should be me!" Peeta snarls like a wild dog and drops his hold on the jacket letting Haymitch fall back to the floor. There is dead silence in the car for a moment as he continues to shake in fury. Then the train creaks and starts forward and the spell is broken.

Haymitch sits up and Peeta lets him. He doesn't look at the younger boy and frowns for a moment before saying in a deadly quiet voice, "I guess I lied then."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you, those of you who reviewed for me, it was really exciting to see them! I hope you like this next chapter, though it didn't come as easily as the last one did. Dialogue is hard… heehee. **

Peeta was still shut up in his compartment when dinner was served. He had locked the door and refused to answer Effie the many times she rapped on the door and asked that he "be reasonable" and "come out and talk about it".

She tried to get me to talk him out as well, but since I was on Haymitch's side I didn't know what I would say to him anyway.

Haymitch had retreated as well, in his way. He seemed to sink into himself and become nonresponsive, nursing a cup of tea the way he would a snifter of whiskey. This frustrated Effie to no end and she flitted around trying to be busy but was mostly just irritating.

The three of us sit in silence at the table and I avoid the tenseness of the situation by eating. We've been served thick rice with chunks of mushroom and leek in it tonight and a pile of different fruit slices wait for dessert. I shovel down an entire bowl and then work intently on a second one.

"Slow down, Katniss, it's not going anywhere," scolds Effie, "please, remember your manners; remember where we are going." She delicately spoons a piece of mushroom into her mouth.

"Kid's gotta eat, doesn't she? Leave her alone," says Haymitch, breaking out of his brooding stupor. I'm not sure why he jumps to my defense, but I figure he's finally had it with Effie for today.

"I eat perfectly well and I don't have to get risotto in my eyebrows to do it," Effie shoots back, with more anger in her voice than seems reasonable and an angry pout forming on her sparkly lips.

"What's your problem, huh?" Haymitch sneers. "Don't you know we have more important things to be dealing with than your asinine manners lessons?"

"Well, I wasn't even talking to you to begin with, was I? So you needn't concern yourself," Effie shrills and throws her napkin from her lap to the table pushing back her chair and leaving with the sharp click of her heels trailing behind her.

It's then that I realize that I have been sitting with my mouth slightly ajar and holding my spoon upright in my empty rice bowl. Haymitch has shut back down and is staring vacantly into his water glass. Dinner is gone and all that remains is the bowl of fruit glistening in the center.

The room seems stuffy after the sudden, strange outbursts from Effie and Haymitch and I need to get out of it. I reach out and take the whole bowl of fruit and start to head for my compartment, but I am stopped by squeaky sobs coming from a bathroom just outside of the dining car. The hem of Effie's dress is caught in the door jam.

"Effie?" I say sliding open the unlocked door.

"Katniss," she snivels "I'm sorry, Katniss, I didn't mean that at dinner, I'm just so… so… sorry." She hiccups and I put the fruit bowl on the floor and kneeling, take her hand the way I would with Prim and wait for her to talk.

"I just can't believe that they are sending you back, it's not fair! You're victors, you're heroes, you're… I don't want you to go."

I suddenly understand. We; me, Peeta and even Haymitch - no especially Haymitch—are Effie's family, and she is going to loss us. Peeta and I are her crowning achievement in life since she was the first in her position to manage to get both of their tributes back out of the arena. She loves us in her strange Effie way.

Also, for someone who is used being in control, her helplessness in the face of our fates is probably making her crazy. Her anger and pushiness now makes sense. I am surprised by my own insight and wonder a little about whether I am getting better at reading people. I decide it's probably more that Effie reads like an open book.

In either case, I comfort Effie the best I can, saying anything that seems like it will help quiet her though I know I'm no good at it. However, it seems to work and in a few minutes Effie is pulling herself together and heading off to her compartment to clean up, thanking me and patting her tall wig.

I pick up my fruit again and start down the hall only to find myself stopping at the door to Peeta's room. I hesitate, unsure of myself and my own purpose, but I knock anyway and call, "Peeta?"


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: So I took a little longer editing this one, because it was pointed out to me that I had some errors in the last ones, and I did. Some were pretty bad... ^^;; Anyway, I hope you like this and sorry if there are still errors (bet you anything there will be…). Thanks for the reviews and please leave more, I will take them to heart. **

**Oh! And to Brianna Jackson, I really want to read your story, I'm just going to wait till I'm done writing this one so my thieving brain doesn't take any of your stuff by accident. **

There's no response at first and after another knock I turn and begin heading down the hallway. I make it a few steps before Peeta's door clicks open. I look back but I don't see him, just the door hanging open. It's an invitation to come it, not him relenting to come out.

I stand in the doorway and look in, but don't see him at first in the unlit compartment. Then I catch a glimpse of him off in the corner to the right of the door, sitting on the floor.

"Peeta? I, um, thought you might be hungry so I…" I begin but I know that I'm about to start babbling and since I'm not the type to stumble around looking for the right thing to say I decide to retreat. Quickly. "Here, I brought you some fruit. You should eat it" I say too loudly and hastily make my way to his bed to put the fruit down.

"Katniss…" his voice sounds like a spoon scrapping the inside of a wooden bowl, hollow, empty, and scratchy. It stops me cold with me hands still clamped on the fruit bowl holding it just above the comforter. "Katniss."

I know I have to say something but I don't know what. I'm simply not good at this sort of thing. Fortunately for me, it seems Peeta wants to be talked to and is willing to get the ball rolling for me.

"Haymitch, is… he thinks he's done the right thing, doesn't he?" he asks.

"Yeah, I think so. I'm sure he thinks saving you is—"

"He's not," he says forcefully, "he's not saving me from anything. I'll live but I have to watch one or both of you die. I'll end up just like him and if he thinks his life is not worth living, why does he think it'll be such a gift for me?"

I have no idea how to respond to this. I had been so focused on keeping Peeta alive that I had not thought about the quality of his life afterward.

Peeta lets his head hit the wall behind him and laughs dryly. "Damn it, Katniss, you really need a better poker face. You didn't even think about it, did you? You were just out to keep me alive."

Again I am speechless, but at least now I tighten my slack jaw into a scowl to try to recover somewhat.

"Well," Peeta sighs, "at least I'll have _had_ people who care about me enough for that."

"Peeta—"

"What? Can you argue with that?"

No I can't. "Just… can't you try to be happy? You still have your family and friends. You still have a chance to be happy. Plus, you need to focus now; you need to help us in there."

Peeta looks away and takes a deep breath, releasing it slowly. "That'll be the worst part," he breaths, still not looking at me, "trying to help; knowing I can help and you'll still die."

I stride over to Peeta's corner and kneel down in front of him, realizing too late that I still have the damn fruit bowl in my hands. I set it on the floor away from us and catch his face in my hands. "Stop it," I say angrily, "you stop that right now before I have to slap you! Neither of us plans to just roll over and die so you need to knock it off and help us. I worked hard to get you out of our first games and now Haymitch has gotten you out of the second, so just live for us because that's what we want, you selfish ass!" My voice has risen throughout my little speech until I am practically screaming straight into his face and I know my grip on his face must be painful.

Before I can react Peeta's arms are around my waist and he is squeezing me to him. "Katniss… I love you. I know you don't feel that way about me, but I… maybe I can pull myself together if you promise to do everything you can to come back. Maybe… I could be happy someday if you live through this."

I allow myself to soften and wrap my arms around his neck, resting my cheek on the top of his head. I can smell his hair and it fills my nose with the scent fresh bread, honey, and a warm musky smell that is only Peeta's.

"Hey," I say softly, "I said I wasn't going to roll over and die. I'm going try. I have Prim, my mother, Gale, and you to come back to. I'm not giving up."

"Then neither will I."


End file.
